What You Avoid, Persists. What You Face, Transmutes.

There have been a lot of painful places living inside me from early in life that I have not wanted to face from trauma and tragic losses along with lesser bumps and bruises. 

 

The overwhelming intensity lodged itself in my nervous system leading to a lifelong effort to get away from it and subsequent moodiness, health issues and social struggles.

 

A LOT of stuck energy…

 

I’ve distracted myself from this “pain” in many ways to dampen it. I’ve moved to another state to get distance from what I perceived as the source (futile). I’ve colluded with my shame (super dark and scary). I’ve made a career out of helping others process their pain (a sacred privilege and honor). I’ve bought more books on healing than I can read in this life (still, a good investment!).

 

I’ve allowed these painful experiences to define me. 

 

Yet, I know they are not me.

 

I have learned that I can face these dark places inside that seem like they will engulf me in flames or lead me into a pit of existential despair.

 

I have learned that when I face the pain, when I shine a light on what is actually inside me, it begins to release. The knots of pain in my body begin to soften. The tears cleanse. 

 

And do it over and over. Like peeling an onion. Shedding hardened layers of heart armor. Unfurling and softening of the bare and tender Self.

 

You have to face the wounded places inside you to heal them.

Shine the light of love on them.